Saturday cool

By Anna | January 23, 2010 | No Comments

mhhm.

“i could never live comfortably” i just did this a second ago

By Betty | January 22, 2010 | 1 Comment

when i finally force myself off the couch, it is 4:26 pm. if i don’t go to the corner “mexi-mart” (as i’ve so offensively come to call it) now, they’ll pull the steel shutters down in my face and i’ll have to walk to walgreens for cigarettes and milk. i pull on my shoes and ignore my jacket, knowing i won’t be out too long. i step out of the dim, stale smelling apartment to inhale crisp, wet air. it’s just stopped raining and the sun is casting a soft yellow light on the cold pavement. this is nice. i need to get out more. as i lock the door behind me i hear the voices of a man and a woman shouting. i twist my neck to learn it’s location. i touch the neighbors outside wall and lean towards it. it’s not in there. i turn my head to the line of doors behind me. it couldn’t be coming from apartment 2. steven’s voice is much different from the one i hear fuming near by. i walk into the alley and see three heads over the top of a parked car. some bums are arguing on the sidewalk. i move back behind the wall. i figure the last thing you want when you’re pissed is some creepy little white bitch watching you yell at your friends. i step into the alley and begin walking towards the drunken, bickering pack. fuck it, i’m not here to bother anybody. one of the men shoots me a glare and they begin walking down the street. he separates from the other two and turns up another street and yells “this is the appreciation i get? this is the appreciation i get for buying beer?” repeatedly . the man and woman ignore him and continue on their way. i enter the corner store. the bells on the door are loud as hell, alerting the cashier who pops his head out from the back room. his large brown aviators and white mustache are comical, bobbing, disembodied and greeting me with an enthusiastic “HELLO!”. i move to the assorted throw away coolers stocked with mexican soda and diet coke. i see tortillas, butter and plastic wrapped cheese slices that don’t look very fresh. no milk. i circle around to the counter.

“excuse me. you have milk?” i ask.

“nope! no milk. we got the dry milk but none of the fresh milk.”

“alright then.” i grab two packets of ramen off a dusty shelf and place them on the counter “these and a lighter and a pack of camel filters, please.”

i pay with the tip money i should be saving, wish the cashier a good afternoon and begin to walk back to the apartment. a door on the street opens and two dachshunds come barreling out on their tiny legs. it takes a lot of self control not to run over, pick them up and start talking to them like your lonely aunt talks to new family babies. you know who she is. you know how she talks. i reached the apartment door and immediately sat back down on the couch the moment i got in. so, here i am now. i’m really hungry, but that ramen looks hell of old. fuck it. wish me luck.

i’ve started a habit.

By Kervin | January 21, 2010 | 1 Comment

do this one thing for me, just this one:

stare at photos of people you’ve known all your life and let your eyes lose focus. concentrate on their unique characteristics– if they have peculiar jawbones, cheekbones, brows, whatever, whichever– stare at these while you lose focus. think of what they looked like as children. notice the animated backwards progression your mind creates. then come back to their present features. look at the creases in their face, notice all the blemishes and character years have brought. now exaggerate these blemishes. sink in the eyes, visualize more bulbous noses, try on different haircuts. this is them in ten years.

now go look at a mirror.

SORRY!

By Betty | January 21, 2010 | No Comments

we have been a combination of lazy and busy. well, kind of tired and drained from school and new jobs. however, i’m sure kevin will feel the need to rant soon, anna will have new projects in the works and i’m gonna nag david to put up some photos. i’m also working on a comic about a mythical creature who lives by the lord. so, just hang in there and we’ll try to get our shit together as fast as we can. in the mean time, rot yer brains with this:

/p>

Hell of Busy

By Kervin | January 14, 2010 | No Comments

Dang, Internet. Seems every time I start talking at you, it’s a retrospective of business as attended. Which is good– steady workin’, schemin’, ridin’ and drinkin’. I’m off to Ye Olde university next week… “business as usual” will be re-branded in definition and execution. And on that note:

Expect a revamp of TOSH’s layout in the coming weeks. We intend to shift the spotlight towards content, features, and projects rather than Authors; we four or five or six (I forget how many contributors are onboard at this point) folks generally roll as a pack as it is– no need to say so-and-so is guilty. We all broke the law. Catch all that? Yeahmeneither.

The tweaked (snicker) layout will open up advertising opportunities (e.g. ad space) sold by us with the intent of making enough money to keep this dang website open for another year. If you’re interested in pushing your product (chortle) towards our approximated (i.e. bullshitted) 13-65 international audience, drop us a line. theohsnaphandle (at) gmail (dot) com. I promise I will take your inquiries very seriously and with a dollop of tact.

In other news, I mashed up the Central Ave hill today. My organs are trying to escape through my belly-button.

New stuff is on the way!

By Anna | January 11, 2010 | No Comments

We here at TOSH have been super busy getting day drunk, avoiding our responsibilities and generally trying to get rich quick. In the midst of that though we’ve resurrected Bike Cult and the zine is on it’s way (finally). I’m watching Kervin do the layout at this moment, and it’s going to be EPIC. With the new semester right around the corner, we’ve come up with quite a few ideas for great stuff in the coming months. So this is what we know:

Feb. 1 – Bike Cult vol. 1 drops. To include fiction, photography, spotlights on local businesses we love, sex positive features and of course an absurd amount of bikes and related awesomeness.

GreaterPaper will be returning around the first of February as well, with such greatness as a monthly poster subscription, new stationery and tons of new prints.

Bike Cult is working on a charity race as well, slated for sometime in February. There may or not be mayhem and madness and epic prizes.

We’re always looking for people to help out, get involved, make stuff and ride bikes. Get in touch with any of us to contribute!

Much Love,

TOSH, BikeCult, GreaterPaper, Obtuse Black Black Angle