Poker Race!

By Anna | March 29, 2010 | No Comments

lady-gaga-picture

The only good thing about the disgusting lack of posts we’ve had recently is that we’ve been cooking up some new projects for you. Next up on the Agenda of Awesome is the Poker Race. This will be the first official Bike Cult sponsored event, and includes an awesome all-gear bike race/poker game, an awesome acoustic folk-punk show at our house, and the much anticipated release of the first issue of the Bike Cult zine.

BUT WAIT THERE’S MORE!!! It’s Lady Gaga themed, so dress up – best look-alike gets a prize. There are also prizes for fastest, the winner of the poker game, dead fucking last and others. Fixed & Free has generously provided swag for you to win, as well as prizes from Winning Coffee Co., Cafe Giuseppe and All Is One Tattoo.

Meet at the UNM Duck Pond at 4pm, Sunday April 11. 5 bux to race, includes spoke card, a copy of the zine (with a special cover) and admission to the show afterward (that’s a screamin deal, dudes). It’s a pretty standard poker ride, 5 stops to pick up cards. First place goes to the best hand.

After Party at La Maison (Bike Cult House) 3 bux, unless you race!

Featuring…

Arroyo Deathmatch

Titans of Light (from Wisconsin!)

Dirty Pandas

Emma and Bryce

Starts at 7p.

Come out and Play!

saturday cool

By Anna | March 27, 2010 | No Comments

conspire

So, this is a bit of bad photo, but you get the general idea (that idea being AWESOMENESS). This is Conspire , AKA totally bitchin coffee shop/art gallery/anarchist library. We visited, all too briefly while were in Phoenix, and I can’t wait to go back. It’s fantastic. Check out their Spraygraphic profile for more info, and if you’re in the area stop by!

mohawk mondays

By Anna | March 22, 2010 | No Comments

chica

Do you see it? Or are you distracted by her charming smile?

Foods & Boozes – Carly’s

By Anna | March 18, 2010 | No Comments

carlys1

Since we don’t have enough features that we habitually neglect, I think I’ll try out another one. This one’s called Foods & Boozes, and that’s exactly what it’s about. I decided to start with Carly’s Bistro in Phoenix. So what follows is sort of a restaurant review/cool evaluation (because we like judging stuff and imposing our opinions on you, in case you haven’t noticed)

It was hot as balls when we finally stumbled into the hood, that we’d been looking for all day. Bike-weary and nearing exhaustion, we stopped in front of the little cafe and inspected the surroundings. Bikes locked up out front, a good sign. They sell beer, an even better sign. Our hunger got the best of our indecision, and we decided to risk it. I was immediately pleased by the paint, a very easy-on-the-eyes sort of blue paired with its complimentary orange, but tasteful and put me in the mind of sunsets. There was a decent photography show up on the walls (gallery= big plus). Though we were originally seeking a coffee house, Carly’s turned out to be more of a bistro, but as it was lunch time, and we were already here, we took a seat. Tom Waits was playing in the background, and with that comforting scrawl of a voice, we settled into the scene. To the left of the entrance is the bar, an unassuming plank of stained wood backed by that pleasant blue colored wall, the liquor bottles on home-made looking shelves. I picked up the drink menu, and noted that they stocked beers brewed by monks. Holy beer, another plus. Kervin ordered a Rueben, I ordered a smoked salmon sandwich. Mine was excellent, Kervin was non-committal about his. It came with a cold orzo pasta salad, and though the plating leads you to believe you’re getting ripped off, when you finish it’s the perfect amount of food. I didn’t order a beer, but noted that they had both PBR and Arnold Palmer on the beverage menu. Check and check.

In all, a nice spot for lunch, good food, inviting atmosphere. It’s about middle price range (my meal was 8.50), which is spendy for some, not at all for others (relative, like everything else) I’d like to go back for happy hour and scope the bar scene. 3.5 out of five.

carlys2

for your * pleasure – what is the opposite of psychedelic rock

By Kervin | March 16, 2010 | No Comments

good evening, ladies and germs. please refrain from throwing your rotten fruits and vegetables of ignoring these huge chunks of text i devote to screaming about things i like for a second, that is, please just refrain from the internet standby of tee ell semi-colon dee arr, because i’d like to introduce to you FOR YOUR INTIMIDATION AND POSSIBLE SPOOK-OUT, another round of sharing the creepy music i devote chunks of my life to sitting down and listening to. it’s important.

i have a lot of paranoias. conspiracy theories, being buried alive, tapeworms, foot fungus, alien abduction, abduction proper, large spaces, small spaces, no people, too many people, forced intrusion, (remember that creepy fucker from m. night shyamalan’s sleeper-hit [read: piece of shit] unbreakable? “can i come in?” haunts me to this day.) undercooked seafood, goats’ eyes, cats sleeping on my face,

Orphaned By The Ocean - 2009

and BEING ON A BOAT SINKING IN THE MIDDLE OF THE FUCKING OCEAN TEN-THOUSAND MILES AWAY FROM ANY SORT OF PLAUSIBLE RESCUE OR OTHER METHODS OF SUPPORT OR SUSTENANCE. HOLY SHIT. DEAR FUCKING GOD IT’S THE WORST THING TO THINK ABOUT EVER.

Teeth of the Sea - Only Fools On Horse Teeth of the Sea - Latin Inches

that’s all there is to TEETH OF THE SEA’s album ORPHANED BY THE OCEAN. look at that album art. listen to those first two tracks. sinking with your tiny crew in the vast, ice-cold north-atlantic reaches of depths, surrounded only by a bunch of shit that people probably don’t even need, at fucking DUSK. flare guns hold standard-size shotgun ammunition for a reason.

ask and ye shall receive – polarity switch

By Kervin | March 15, 2010 | No Comments

first, i will turn you into money, then i will put you in my wallet.

i put my wallet in my pocket and sit on it.

when i need some more money, i will buy it with you–

change you in for the one-hundred pennies you are worth–

PUNKSNOTDEAD

soggy, used, discarded you.

and when we’re done with you, we’ll put you in our pockets,

snap the tops, steal all your light:

spread four ways; corners of the earth.

your north is south, we hold your compass for you.

little babe, magnetized no more.

———-

hello, wide world of internet. kervin here, reporting from a leather sofa sitting in the recessed den of a lovely townhome in tempe, arizona, and i’ve decided to do a convoluted-message advice column laced with hints of grandiose idea, nay, Idea, while i precariously sit across the room from an edward cut-out. his right eye is terribly photoshopped because the photographer was evidently incapable of using dramatic lighting efficiently. the creator, he is a blundering man.

so what is there to say about a person on vacation, what sorts of advice should he give, and what sort should he take? it is hypocritical to suggest relaxation routines, or perhaps just cruel, since this is all he is capable of. as the moment goes, he is not at work, nor at school, but not far enough out of these routines to forget all about them, so he piddles with the minds of those around him to see the gears grind; to see the wrench bend as he threw it in. silly, mischievous little man. occupy yourself with something self-engaging.

or burn it all down. we’ll be long gone before they figure it out.